Miss Asphyxia (trypanophobic34) wrote in da_house,
Miss Asphyxia

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The most beautifulest house in the world...

I just joined, so yeah...

My house will look Victorian from the outside, but it will have been built in modern times, actually. (I wouldn't want the roof to collapse in on me or something tragic like that.) It will be blue and white and have shutters that are never really used and chimneys all that. And it will be three stories tall and a pretty, pretty house.

The doorknocker (made out of some kind of metal, obviously) will have a winged Lucifer sitting on a rock, at a kind of sideways angle, carved in it. Not a sinister, demonish, horns-and-a-tail Lucifer, just a normal, pensive, fair angel Lucifer. And the doorbanger thing itself, you know, the little part that you actually knock against the doorknocker, will have some cool Latin phrase like "MEMENTO MORI" engraved in it.

So then you go through the door, (which will have actually have THREE locks on it, though I'll probably only lock one when I go out, etc.), and into the house, and the first room on the left is a mock-Victorian parlor. All the rooms, at least on the lower level, will have particular, special, themeish names, besides the obvious "living room" and "dining room" and all that. So, as I was saying, the first room is the Victorian room, or the "Saucy Jack" room. It will have ornate, fancy furniture and all that and a bag of knobs. It will have proper draperies and carpets and probably intricate wainscoting along the walls and everything. But, as a little tricky thing, all the names of the victims of Jack the Ripper will be concealed at strategic points around the room, blended in with the wallpaper, carved cleverly into a table, etc., like a sort of fly in the ointment.

The next room on the left is the Greek or Renaissance room. It's essentially the reading room. There's an old-fashioned windowseat at the window and a black piano (you know, the kind with the top propped up, etc.), even though the piano will probably seem kind of incongruous. It gets its name from the mural of the School of Athens (Raphael, 16th century) on one wall, the widest, center wall. Then there's a large dark wooden bookcase to the left, with a mock-Greek column next to it. It will contain only classic and historical books and poetry: Edgar Allan Poe, Emily Dickinson, Charlotte and Emily Bronte, Jane Austen, Oscar Wilde, Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker, Shakespeare and Wordsworth, etc. etc. Mayhap they'll even have more modern novels like Lord of the Flies and Anne Frank on those voluminous shelves. Who knows? Also some philosophy stuff, like "Leviathan" (Hobbes) and "The Social Contract" (Rousseau), "Communist Manifesto," etc. And then there'll be historical stuff, about Henry VIII and his Many Wives, Bloody Mary, Elizabeth I, about Jack the Ripper and Napoleon and infamous people. Some stuff on criminal psychology and sociology, and also a few things on ancient civilizations (Egypt, Rome, Greece, China), European/medieval history, on the Regency era, just a whole skiel of crap. It has ancient Greek, Latin, and Romanian language books, too. And French and German and stuff. Greek/Roman mythology, Egyptian rituals/gods/goddesses, witchcraft, everything history that you can think of. There will be wallpaper border along the walls, scrollworky, quilly, gilt, feathery gold stuff, and on all the walls not taken up by the mural will be all my favorite quotes, ranging from everyone to everyone. There will be cushy couches and such.

The first room on the right's a half-bathroom, the Black/"Black Mary" room, because it's painted all black. Or possibly the Vomitorium, like the old Romans had back in the old days.

Then there's a computer room, with double, glass-panelled doors, and it's just as you would expect of a computer room. It's nice and comfortable and there's a little wrought-iron spiral staircase at the far end, which leads up into my bedroom above if you go up it, but you only see it when I want you to (i.e. it's invisible sometimes).

The next room is big, and it is the so-called living room, but it's really called the Circle room or the Dead room. It's circular, obviously, and has a gas fireplace at the far end which kinda looks like fake wood. There are couches and armchairs and stuff, and a TV and a very large DVD collection, of all the movies I've ever even slightly liked. I won't name them right now because that would just take forever, and I'm writing enough as it is.

To the left, with no wall or partition or anything between the two, is the "kitchen," or the Marble room. It has marble counters and stuff, that's why. And a refrigerator and table and the normal expected stuff.

There's a wooden door in the Circle room, to the right side, which is wooden sometimes (most of the time) and blended into the wallpaper sometimes. Sometimes it opens into the garage and sometimes into the libary (large, stacks and stacks of books, writing desk and comfy chairs and all, with another twisted iron staircase leading up to the attic or Le Penseur room [they're different rooms but the same, and the attic is technically on the third floor, not the second, and Le Penseur is technically on the second]).

A little white door in the kitchen area takes you outside to a pebbled path and the Rasputin-Hedonist Gardens. It's like a lawn, basically, with lots of trees and flowers and stuff. I don't have a pool, or a well, definitely not a well. Nor a tennis court. Just some gardens, enclosed by a freshly-painted white fence. It's so-called Rasputin because there's a sort of patio right next to the back of house, little mosaic tiles that make up a portrait of the infamous Rasputin.

Well, that's it for now, I'll tell about the upper levels later. A few P.S. notes: the library has stone cherubic angels and gargoyles in it. And I almost forgot: the dining room. It is the Room of No Use or Worth, because I'll never eat in it. It has a dark cherry oval dining table in the center, with a bowl of fake fruits on it, including juicy purple grapes. A painting by Van Gogh watches over it (the one where the guy's mouth is open in horror, with his hands clutched to the sides of his head). You know the one. Yes, of course you know, silly. It's on the left after the Greek room. And the Dead room will have old, classic, black-and-white movies among its collection, too, ones like "Nosferatu" and "Dracula" and "Gone with the Wind" and such.

It is the greatest house in the world. I wish it were real. :/
Anyway, I can see it all clearly in my head but I don't know how it looks in writing. What does it look like to you?
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